Here I am writing this at 11:00 after a long day (11 hours) of work and a half a pan of toffee bars. I may not be drunk for this Half Drunk Challenge but I sure am loopy! My topic today? Navy Marriage on my Base.

My husband and I are based on a training command, a very nice one too. The men and women here are studying to run the nuclear reactors on submarines and aircraft carriers around the world. It is a great and important job and with any important job comes money. I’m pretty sure that most of my neighbors would tell you we aren’t rolling in money but we are fortunate that we have skipped a few ranks and received some nice bonuses.

It isn’t at a cost though, our husbands (I say husbands but wives too!)  are gone all the time even though this is a shore duty. For the first 9-12 month, they are at school 40 hours and studying up to 30 additional hours. Then the last 6 months, they work in a sub and work 7 days 2 off, all 12 hour shifts at random times. I’ll be sure to take some of that bonus money, that we don’t get til most of the schools are complete, to buy my son a Daddy Doll!

Anyway, my ramblings aren’t about the hours my husband is gone or anything like that, it is actually about the housewives in my area. My good friend and I have always thought that the women on our base are intriguing. The average age of the women on base (on the training command, not the entire base) is 19. There are several 17, 18 and 19 year old women who, after graduating high school, come to visit their boyfriends here and then decide it would be easiest to just marry their sailor.

Why not? Free BAH and decent housing, free health care, money for food and money in general. Since their now husband makes way more money then their previous job at the carwash, they can sit at home in their free house and play with the adorable puppy they bought until they convince there 19 year old husband that he wants a baby. They don’t even have to work. Who works? Seriously!

You can always tell when these young couples get their bonuses too because they go buy brand new sports cars, boats or ATVs. Right around power school (the second phase of school) the wives are starting to show off their now pregnant belly. The husband, typically older, soon turns 21 and wants to go out all the time. What is the 20 year old to do? Surely she won’t go out with her 7 month pregnant belly! No, she just bitches about her husband going out on facebook. If it is a really hormonal night, she might throw is clothes in the lawn and threaten to leave him. If it isn’t too hormonal of a night, she may offer to pick him up at 2 when the bars close. Of course when she pulls up in the brand new sports car, she surely will be pissed when she sees her husband flirting with a version of her non-pregnant self. Why would the hormone driving male not be turned on by the 7 month pregnant wife who persuaded him to have the baby even though they blew all their money on the previously mentioned sports car and they both just want to get wasted on days off!

The baby comes right when prototype starts (the last phase with the crazy hours) and things just go to hell. The baby cries and the woman thinks that her husband is required to help during the day, even if he just worked a 12 hour shift overnight. When he doesn’t help, more facebook bitching. Nothing like build a marriage by bashing your husband to all his peers and their wives. All the sleep deprived ness leads to the eventual collapse of any sort of marriage this couple was striving for. She moves home or just runs out on him. Sometimes they try to make it work but lots of time it ends in divorce. The one year marriage.

It is sad and disgusting all at the same time. I am not an old married woman, I’m 24 married to my 25 year old husband and we have been married for 3 years this December. I am not a pro at marriage nor do I claim to be. I was married to my husband before we made a baby. We dated for years before we were married. We went to college and learned how to party BEFORE we got married and had a baby. Our marriage was first for a while. Then we focused on the baby for a while before the Navy. We love all the perks the Navy provides us but it is hard.

Everyday, I am fortunate that my husband and I were able to create the tools we needed to build a strong foundation for a marriage. When we added the stress of a child and then the Navy, we were strong. Neither of us think of divorce as an option and we have a united front that the teens who marry, birth a baby and divorce all while here completely ruin the sanctity of marriage. I truly am a lucky lady!

*I was going to post this anonymously on the Momalom site but decided to be brave and post it. Start a discussion or not. Write or don’t. But check out some other interesting writings of bravery here!

(I certainly hope I spelt that correctly!)

So the other day we (Me, Ayden, Zach and Ethan) were really getting our car singing grove on to Feliz Navidad. Ayden really seemed into it which is a little odd since Ayden normally tells me I give him a headache when I sing really loud. (No one has EVER told me this before.  NOT!) Anyway, the song ended and I turned the music down to the appropriate level when approaching the parking lot full of judgmental, preschool mommy’s. The following conversation happened…

Ayden: I really loved that Mommy Died.

Me: WHAT?!! Mommy didn’t die, she is at work!

Ayden: Well, if she didn’t die, why would we sing Mommy Died?

Me: Ayden, we would never sing about mommy dying. She is safe at work, did Christian (kid in his class) teach you this song? I will talk to his mommy about how that is not a nice song. We sing happy songs like Jingle Bell Rock, ok?

Ayden: Christian didn’t teach it to me, you did!

Me: I DID?! When?

Ayden: We just sang it remember? “Mommy Died, ~humming~ Mommy Died”

He was totally humming Feliz Navidad and miss understood the words! It was hilarious!  I corrected him and thought that was the end of it….until today when he asked if my iPod had that Mommy Died song so we could jam out again. Sigh…oh Ayden!!!

He is coming! Tomorrow night! I love the story of St. Nick, always have. The idea of someone helping those in need and doing so with no recognition is beautiful. I actually love the story so much that when Veggie Tales came out with the new St Nicholas movie, I bought it and Conor didn’t even flinch. He actually asked why we didn’t already own it…I told him it came out last week, otherwise I would.  (PS It is really good, in case you were curious!) I like the story, great moral and it is easy to relate his story to real life.

I also like celebrating St Nick because of how many unique ways there are to celebrate.  When we lived in Belgium we adapted the the tradition of putting your shoes by the door and when we woke up, they would be filled with small trinkets and candy! It was awesome! Something I will continue on with Ethan and any other babies we may be blessed with =) My mom would send ornaments or games for my roommates and then Conor even in college. (Amazingly, it always got there on the 5th or 6th!)

I had one of those moments when you feel like a parent when I was picking our an ornament for Ethan this year. Here I am carrying on something…it was just odd! In a good way of course! St Nick will also be filling Ethans shoes with Christmas Pajamas and a “Thats Not my Snowman” book and some kettle corn. Conor feels left out because I am not filling his stinky boots with popcorn and chocolate…I guess thats what you get for being a grown up! (At least thats what I told him and its a good thing he doesn’t read my blog! lol!)

Dearest Aidan and Moira,

Your Papa just told me that tomorrow you may be receiving one of the best things winter can bring you….SNOW! Not just a flurry or two but a whopping 3-6 inches! Oh, how your Aunt Amanda LOVES snow! I have always played in the snow, building forts, sledding and throwing snowballs filled my winters when I was your age. I eventually learned to go skiing and snowboarding and occasionally shoveled the driveway for my parents!

The problem is I had years filled with days of snow. I had countless hours to roll around making snowangels and building ramps to sled off (we were pretty good at those!). You will probably only get a few hours to play in the snow so I thought I would give you some pointers!

( I know this is not your first time in the snow, remember? I prayed really hard for snow at my wedding so you both could see snow! I had no idea how much fun we would all have. )

I am pretty sure you will get to experience your first snow day because Texans are scared of snow. I know Texans aren’t scared of anything but trust me, most of them are scared of snow. You don’t get many snow days so LIVE IT UP! Wake up and double check that it actually snowed. Run around screaming ONCE your mom confirms that the day will be spent at home. Get all bundled up and then need to pee. Get rebundled and make sure your mom tucks your shirt into the gloves, THEN put your coat on. Lick the *fresh snow. Slide down a slide in the snow. Make snow angels. Warn your mom when you are almost ready to come in so she has plenty of time to make the hot chocolate. Once inside, bake warm things, like cookies. Then watch a movie while trying to get warm. Have lots of fun without driving your mommy absolutely insane!

Whether you get the snow day or not, have lots of fun in the snow! Have your Mommy take pictures so Aunt Amanda can be jealous of the fact that you have snow and I don’t!

Love and miss you lots and lots!

Love,

Aunt Amanda

*do not eat anything yellow, brown or even gray. Please.

I just thought I would throw that out there! I love Christmas decorations, music, teaching the reason for the season to Ayden, Advent Calendars, Lights and the list goes on and on. I love being Mrs Claus and the fact that Conor is Santa. (Hope no small children read this!) I love Christmas morning and I can’t wait to see Ethan’s reaction this year. I am excited that my family is coming and that they are bringing the traditional prime rib because I have no idea how to pick one of those out. I am thrilled my brothers finally get to see where I live! I love that Conor is getting into the spirit of things. He even drive all the ways to James Island  to see some REALLY awesome Christmas lights last night!

Yep! I love Christmas!

PS Anyone have a good suggestion for a Nativity that Ethan can actually play with? Both of ours are breakable…not that it stops Ethan from trying to grab the “baby!”

I’ve been messing a bit with my camera and Ethan just wasn’t having it so Wyatt stepped up and modeled during Ethans nap!

Ethan discovered recently that he LOVES pie…pretty self explanatory!

Of course I am thankful for the typical things…family, friends, a healthy husband and son. I’m thankful I have food on my table, a roof over my head, a safe car to drive and a job. I have more than enough “stuff” and enough love that I know it overflows to the people who surround me. I think/hope most people are thankful for all those things and today is just one day, of many, that we should be thankful for all those things!

Today, I couldn’t help but me most thankful for traditions. Last night, while finding any excuse to use my new mixer, Ethan and I whipped up two pies. Then I cut off the extra dough, sprinkled on some sugar and cinnamon, then rolled it up. Ethan was so excited because I let him roll it out, sprinkle most of the stuff and then he put the rolls on the pan. We danced out to our holiday music while getting everything ready for today. When the oven finally dinged that our roll up things were done, we filled glasses with milk and sat together at the table, eating our creation. It was awesome. Not only because Ethan and I shared this baking moment (lol!) but because I remember my grandma making these for me and then my mom. We LOVED them and so did Ethan. (Even though I am convinced it took my grandma an entire pie crust to feed all of us grandkids. No one has that much “extra” dough!)

The Christmas music and the Macy’s Thanksgiving Day Parade/Dog Show are all things that makes the holiday special. I replicated everything I knew my family was doing back home. Sure, I wanted to be home but it wasn’t homesickness. I started making the traditions with Ethan and it truly overwhelmed me! Even Conor busted a move to Santa Claus is Coming to Town (Neil Diamond version, of course)! I’m sure some things will be adapted to make our own traditions but somethings never change. I am thankful for traditions and the family that helped me create and continue them!!

For the past 2-3 days, my sweet little Ethan has been making a few appearances! I couldn’t be happier about it!!! He has been trying to play games with me (hide and seek…kind of) and has even been trying to play jokes (tapping me on the shoulder and hiding) It has been so amazing!

Tonight, Gryph came over so his family could go out and celebrate Jon finishing comp and the boys played so nicely! Ethan showed Gryph how to feed Milo and put away placemats. (Ethans’ chores!) Then he showed Gryph how to drive his new-to-us remote control ladybug (pictures to come later!) and monster truck. At one point I heard Gryph scream, I turned the corner to see Ethan sign “sorry” and hug him WITH OUT ME TELLING HIM! They solved a problem by themselves!!!!!!

Ethan is just getting so big and smart!! I can’t believe he is 20 months. If nothing else, I am happy the clouds have parted and I saw my sweet boy again for a couple of days!!

(It looks like he is pretending to smile but really he is saying cheese!)