I am so tired. I should be sleeping. In fact, I went to bed an hour ago and just couldn’t sleep. Other than the typical house stuff, I shouldn’t be too exhausted. Ethan slept for 10 hours last night, plenty of sleep for me!
The binky is still fighting to stick around. Of course, it can’t really ever come back. It is gone. Not gone to the cupboard. Not gone to the car glove box for “just in case”. Nope. It is in the big trash can. Actually, the “trash truck”, as Ethan likes to call it, took the trash away and the binky(s) are in the local dump. Ethan just keeps mentioning it fairly randomly. He wants it in the car mainly. We made the simple substitution of switching the binky for his Christmas black lab named Woof Woof. He loves Woof Woof but would really prefer a binky. Too bad buddy.
Ethan originally lost his binky at Ayden’s school so he kind of forced his way into becoming binky-less. This probably wasn’t the best week (if there is such a good week to piss off your kid for an entire week) because Conor has comp in 10 days! He took a final today, has one on Next Monday and Friday, then the big test on Tuesday the 19th. It means lots of extra hours of studying AND sleep. He passed todays test and now has enough points to graduate (Wahoo!!!) All he needs to do is pass comp and we can move on to the next phase…a 4 month hold. Whatever, as long as he is done with Powerschool I am one happy lady!
This week has seemed so long to me. Maybe it is because I went to work at 4am on Tuesday, maybe it is because this week I learned of 3 friend/family pregnancy’s AND the dog down the street is having puppies, maybe it is because it has been to cold to be play outside. No matter what the reason, this week is dragging on. I’m over it. Ready for a new week. In a few short day, Conors parents and my dad will be here. Who can be all crabby when family is visiting AND celebrating something so exciting? I will try my hardest not to be!
There I go with that damn optimism. I am confident it is just a tool I have acquired so I’m not so upset. I’m not really very optimistic tonight, I really don’t want to be. I don’t have to be all the time. This is my blog and I can say what I want to. I honestly am happy for each of my pregnant friends. I love each of the women dearly and already love the babies they are having. I can’t wait to cuddle them, love on them and watch them grow. I don’t need pity or feeling of sorrow. My only is sadness is that all but one of them were reluctant to tell me. There were no smiles on their faces when telling me news of such excitement. They should have been busting at the seems.
They were worried about me.
I am nothing to worry about, sure I am sad that I’m not pregnant. I am sick of thinking that every time I see a new baby or get stuck in the pregnant sandwich at jazzercise (Haha!) that my day will soon come when I get the be the pregnant lady doing low impact or tucking my baby into his carseat. I am allowed and am sad sometimes but overall I think I am a thankful, happy, helpful friend. I don’t want my recent flooding of tears to make any of my friends not talk about the excitement and fearful times ahead of them. They know I will be right there to help them.
I am happy for them, just a little sad for me.
We love you! I can hardly wait for you to hold Baby Girl. And I will keep praying you get a bun in your oven. Until then, don’t forget Jon’s offer! haha
I am so thankful for your blog, much better than therapy…
Life is a reason to rejoice, we can’t wait to rejoice with you…
In Jesus name…
Amen
Mom
We can’t wait to be there.
You have a lot going on. We’ll keep you in our prayers!